Curiosity and the Etiquette of Death
In my other life apart from teaching, I work the graveyard shift in a service station. This is the part of my life that sucks, but I'm stuck with it for the moment. Yesterday, shortly after Midnight which is when I started my shift, some poor girl, probably drunk, tried to cross the highway and didn't make it. Because she crossed at a blind spot, and judging by the aftermath, she probably got hit by at least three vehicles. Firstly this pisses me off because any loss of young life is a huge fucking waste of potential, and although it probably wasn't the best place to cross, knowing this area as I do, and it being pub night, I sincerely doubt that the traffic was driving sensibly or within the speed limit. But I'm not in the mood to rage against the stupid morons who plague our roads. I spent the next few hours at work considering the nature of mortality and the faceless grief of the parents for whom tomorrow was not just another day, and whether or not she was aware of the pain that faced her in the moments before she was hit, whether she survived the first hit, the terror that must have overcome her, and was somewhat overwhelmed by the tragedy of the situation.
Obviously the road was closed for many hours following. Every single customer who had driven past had something to say or wanted to know what had happened. What is the etiquette in such a situation? I was getting pissed off, I didn't want to comment on the tragedy to every faceless customer, I didn't want to have to dwell on it every couple of minutes. I was the focal point for their morbid curiosity, their source of everyone's gory satisfaction. I wondered how many people who asked what had happened thought of how many times I had been asked that question, how many had thought beyond the satisfaction of their own curiosity to consider the human element. I understand that as a protective measure the human mind allows us to avoid thinking about certain things, or to think about things in an abstract way, but I wonder whether this ability is sometimes taken too far. Sometimes, we should reach beyond the curiosity and consider the tragedy. It's a good opportunity to see beyond our own squalid little lives.
Obviously the road was closed for many hours following. Every single customer who had driven past had something to say or wanted to know what had happened. What is the etiquette in such a situation? I was getting pissed off, I didn't want to comment on the tragedy to every faceless customer, I didn't want to have to dwell on it every couple of minutes. I was the focal point for their morbid curiosity, their source of everyone's gory satisfaction. I wondered how many people who asked what had happened thought of how many times I had been asked that question, how many had thought beyond the satisfaction of their own curiosity to consider the human element. I understand that as a protective measure the human mind allows us to avoid thinking about certain things, or to think about things in an abstract way, but I wonder whether this ability is sometimes taken too far. Sometimes, we should reach beyond the curiosity and consider the tragedy. It's a good opportunity to see beyond our own squalid little lives.
posted by Brett at 7:41 pm
3 Comments:
I find honesty to be fairly courteous in many situations. Perhaps that is the best form of etiquette? I refer to diplomatic honesty, of course, not the brutal shit that I usually engage in.
Ahhhh the joys of being of service to the hungry masses. One of the greater joys of retail is that the piblic essentially believe they 'own' you while you're behind that counter.
Having said that, I don't think its morbid to spend time, for yourself, 'dwelling' a bit n said occurrence. Being confronted by death is one of the ways we learn to value life (just ask any med student:-)
Nothing squalid about your life dude, you seem a worthy audience to tragedy and evidently comment on it with kind and considered sincerity. I'll be back to read more of what you see. Hope the horrid incident doesn't plague you for too long...
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